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I Used To Have a Sister

Barry Louis Polisar

I used to have a sister, until just recently
A sister who was oh, so mean to me
So I learned some magic tricks; could turn a dog into a cat
I made a meat ball talk; I pulled a rabbit from my hat
I made the TV walk, I made the broom dance at night
I grew fur on our furniture and gave our snowman sight
And I told my sister, "you'd better stay clear
Or I'll call up the magic words to make you disappear."

Well she just turned around; tried to whack me on my nose
She pulled my hair, she bit my hand and stomped upon my toes
I quickly closed my eyes, gave my head a little jerk
And then I said the magic words and hoped that it would work
I said, "skinny ba binny ba babble dee boo...
Lobbady lobbady liiddy lap loo"

I opened my eyes slowly and as tall as can be
In the corner by the TV set stood a big apple tree
My magic didn't work--she was supposed to be gone
Not be an apple tree...oh what had I done wrong?
And though I'm very sorry, I know all is not lost
Because me and my family all love applesauce.
There's only one problem as far as we can see
The apples that we pick from her are sour as can be

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