Teddy Picker
Alex Turner
They've sped up to the point where they provoke
The punchline before they have told the joke
Plenty of desperation to be seen
Staring at the television screen
They've sped up to the point where they provoke
You to tell the fucking punchline before you have told the joke
Sorry, sunshine, it doesn't exist
It wasn't in the top 100 list
And it's the thousandth time that it's even bolder
Don't be surprised when you get bent over
They told ya, but you were dying for it
She saw it and she grabbed it and it wasn't what it seemed
The kids all dream of making it, whatever that means
Another variation on a theme
A tangle on the television and the magazine
D'you reckon that they do it for a joke?
D'you reckon that they make 'em take an oath that says:
"We are defenders
Of any poseur
Or professional
Pretender around"
When did your list replace the twist and turn?
Like a fist replaced the kiss
Don't concern us with your bollocks
I don't want your prayers
Save it for the morning after
And it's the thousandth time that it's even bolder
Don't be surprised when you get bent over
They told ya, but you were gagging for it
Let's have a game on the teddy picker
Not quick enough can I have it quicker?
Already thick and you're getting thicker
Let's have a game on the teddy picker
"Not quick enough can I have it quicker?"
Already thick and you're getting thicker
Assuming that all things are equal
Who'd want to be men of the people
When there's people like you?
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