Yakko's Big Idea

You see
Not long ago, we didn't know if we were all alone
Was there a dearth of other earths in the habitable zone?
Then the Kepler Telescope found new hope in the Milky Way
So why not try the cosmic sky for your next holiday?

In fact there's one that's super fun, just a few light years away
Where one full year will disappear in four-point-two Earth days
So if there's only one place you've got space and time to see
Then be astounded by the first we found, it's planet Pegasi 51-B!

But
Before you go, you ought to know, it's kind of tough to get around
Because the planet's really gassy- there's no land or solid ground
Clouds of methane meet sulfuric rain, and when those are combined
The air that you'll be breathing there will smell like gas of another kind

Gas, no good? Alright, gas isn't everyone's cup of tea
That's fine. But what about one with aliens?
Lady and gentle-boy, I give you Kepler-186F!

Okay, I jest, I kinda guessed
Whether ETs are alive
But this hip spot has got the lot for aliens to live and thrive
If there's water here, it's crystal clear, and not too hot or cold
And it may contain amazing veins of pure and flawless gold!

But
Its Sun is dying and amplifying all the harmful cosmic rays
And the planet's visage is forever barraged with all these brutal gamma waves
If any ETs were alive, none would survive the radiation
So it'd be astute to pack a hazmat suit for this hot new destination

Okay, so the radiation's also a deal breaker, is it?
Okay, well, it's good to know
Hmm, alright, I got it!

And at lucky last, you can't look past this place that shouldn't be missed
It's always sunny, there's magic puppies, and homework doesn't exist
The sailing's dandy, the ocean's candy, you can fly a broom
But do not fear because the atmosphere will smell like sweet perfume
And astronomers claim that video games have been built into every crater
Why not play Asteroids all day and order pizza from an alien waiter?

Or try a shopping spree 'cause everything is free, and bedtime's not till eleven
WB-1, the home of fun
Welcome to cosmic heaven!