Here's your sign (Get the picture)
Bill Engvall
I just hate stupid people
They should have to wear signs
That just say I'm stupid
That way you wouldn't
Rely on them, would you
You wouldn't ask them anything
It would be like, excuse me
Oops, never mind
I didn't see your sign
It's like before my wife and I
Moved from Texas to California
Our house was full of boxes
There was a U-Haul truck
In our driveway
My friend comes over and says
Hey, you moving
Nope, we just pack our stuff up
Once or twice a week
Just to see how many boxes it takes
Here's your sign
Why can't they get the picture
Why don't they understand
We're not dealing with the planet of apes
We're talking 'bout the modern man
So you people with them itsy bitsy
Teensie weensie tiny minds
Here's your sign, here's your sign
A couple of months ago
I went fishing with a buddy of mine
We pulled his boat into the dock
I lifted up this big ole stringer of bass
This idiot on the dock goes
Hey, y'all catch all them fish
Nope, talked 'em into giving up
Here's your sign
I was out in the front yard
With my boy the other day and
He was playing with his little friend
And he hit his friend and I went up to him
And I said hey, we don't hit
He looked up at me like
Here's your sign, dad
Why can't they get the picture
Why don't they understand
We're not dealing with the planet of apes
We're talking 'bout the modern man
So you people with them itsy bitsy
Teensie weensie tiny minds
Here's your sign, here's your sign
I was watching one of those
Animal shows on Discovery Channel
There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit
There's only one way to test that
All right, Jimmy, you got
That shark suit on, looks good
They want you to jump in this pool of sharks
And you tell us if it hurts when they bite
Well, all right, hold my sign
I don't wanna lose it
Why can't they get the picture
Why don't they understand
We're not dealing with the planet of apes
We're talking 'bout the modern man
So you people with them itsy bitsy
Teensie weensie tiny minds
Here's your sign, here's your sign
Last time I was home
I was driving around
I had a flat tire
I pulled my truck into one
Of these side of the road gas stations
The attendant walks out
Looks at my truck, looks at me
I swear to God he went, tire go flat
I couldn't resist, I said, nope
No I was driving around
Those other three
Just swelled right up on me
Here's your sign
Why can't they get the picture
Why don't they understand
We're not dealing with the planet of apes
We're talking 'bout the modern man
So you people with them itsy bitsy
Teensie weensie tiny minds
People with them little bitty
Teenie weenie tiny minds
Here's your sign
We were trying to sell
Our car about a year ago
A guy come over to the house
Drove the car around for
About forty-five minutes
We get back to the house
He gets out of the car, reaches down
And grabs the exhaust pipe
Then goes, damn, that's hot
See, if he'd been wearing his sign
I could have stopped him
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