Where Is Zog?

Where is Zog? (x8)

Where is Zog?
A grizzled face from the days of my youth
Where is Zog?
Taught me to behave in a manner uncouth
Where is Zog?
How to kill child, how to raise dog
Somebody tell me where the hell is Zog?

Where is Zog?
Together we dove into oceans of war
Where is Zog?
Hacking and whacking through trenches of gore
Where is Zog?
Spewing death and hatred from a golden battle barge
Wherever Zog is living I'm sure that he's living large

On the world Scumdogia I first met general Zog
On his way from burning the Satanic Synagogue
Pocessions and his captive slaves were part of his great booty
He took them to the Emperor, he always did his duty

His battle cattle, bloated bleeding, simply was spectacular
The lore of war, which he adored, was part of the vernacular
I was one of many who begged to join his collegian
They wouldn't take just anyone, unless you were norwegian!

Where is Zog? (x8)

I mounted the great porno cow
And became a Scumdog
I ritually defiled myself
And signed the Captain's log

Finally brought before Zog
He slathered me with piss
Draining his bladder took several years
And not did one drop miss

And then his eyes fell, upon mine
They gave a hellish glow
It wasn't love or hate you see, it was
Well, I don't know

It was hard to win his praise, despite each bloody victory
No matter how many I slew he always was a dick to me
Nothing succeeds like success so I got straight to work
Crushing babies, torching worlds and acting like a jerk

The war we waged destroyed the suns and left the planets flattened
Simply put, it was the worst thing that had ever happened
And Zog, our leader, glorious, sported a great erection!
His battle skill notorious, we always took direction

Urgh it's me, Zog!
Uh, you some space shit on your windshield....(mumbles)

Zog! We searched the star for you
Your counsel we do crave
We must crush the one called Syn
and make his serfs our slaves

We've crossed the very universe,
Traversed the Great Starfield
To find the one tha we call Zog
Is...cleaning...our Windshield?

Zog: You got any change? Space change?
Oderus: Balsac! Lock plasma turret on target!
Balsac: Is that, is that an order?
Oderus: Oh, no, no, uh...More like a suggestion
Balsac: You can't just order me to do things. Just cause you're louder than me doesn't make you the boss.
Oderus: Uh, yeah, but, uh, you know, check it out
Zog: Do you have any space change? Space change?
Oderus: He's fucked
Zog: Argh! You got any change? Space change?
Oderus: You think maybe you wanna go ahead and, uh, lock that plasma turret on target now?
Zog: Yo! Your windshield needs a squeegie!
Balsac: Yeah, I guess... I guess you're right
Zog: You got a lot of bird shit all over it!
Balsac: Locking plasma turret. On target.
Oderus: Thank you. Thank you