It's Not Getting Any Good

while i'm / working to afford to have fun with you i'm distracted
to / stillness by the thinking of you from beach to top mountains
paula this / indistinguished suburb grinds my sleep teeth to ruin & powder
you know it to be / true you heard it held me woke me close whispered how it'll
be soon you said / worry baby sleepy head
cut back to / me young and unpressured in contrast to aunts and to uncles
8 & 10 / older at the cusp of adulthood away walk from play time
i knew then of / those days gold status how they'd look back to fix their hearts worn
and yet here i am write of when i had so many they were of no value when
laid unnumbered end to end / but it's not getting any good
that's a bandage / that we've been using
best of a decade / not while we're here in secaucus bound
let's stop pretending / in never endings
another decade / or until we're out of the hope you found
let's abandon / this house to camden
messed up a decade / let's get away from these home and towns
cause something's missing / we hide by kissing
rest up a decade / we'll need our strength to escape this town
can't tell myself from hopes i've drowned / can't tear myself from this safety town
can't tell each other from stupid clowns