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The Lonesome Kicker

Adam Sandler

Me, I'm the Lonesome Kicker
Extra points, field goals at your service
One might think it comes with glory
You might think different after you listen to my story

My helmet is equipped with a tiny face mask
What it possibly could protect, I do not know
The other guys on the team
Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads
And also like to hide the special shoe
I need to kick in the snow

People think it's so easy
To kick a field goal from the 30 yard line
They forget to add seven yards for the snap
And 10 more 'cause the goal posts are pushed way back

In 1974, the uprights were right on the goal line
But some of the players were running into them
And getting hurt
So screw the kicker
Who cares about the kicker?

But I kick that ball
And I pray it goes straight
If it does
The coach says "Good job, number 8"
He doesn't even know my name is
Andre Kristacovitchlalinski, Jr.
But that's the life I live
The Lonesome Kicker

Kickoffs can be so very scary
Especially, if the returner breaks on through
And I'm the only guy on the playing field left to tackle him
I don't want to get hurt
So I pretend to tie my shoe

Once again, I'm ignored by my teammates and all my coaches
"Go back where you came from!"
Scream 70,000 fans
Well, I know I could win their love back
By catching a winning touch-down
But, unfortunately, I was born with these very small hands

And I hope that the cameras don't come in too close
'Cause they might see the tears in my eyes
As I sit on this bench made of cold-hearted wood
And the splinters go deep in my thighs
And the towel boy snickers as he walks by
The Lonesome Kicker

Another blocked kick
And everybody blames me
But it was the Left Guard
Who didn't pick up his man
Oh, why can't they see...

In my home country
I could have been a minor league soccer player
But I came to America
Seeking fortune and seeking fame
I didn't realize that if I shanked one
And blew the point spread
Some drunk guys would push me into their hibachi
After the game

So I go home at night
'Cause I never get invited
To go drinking with the other guys
And I sit in my chair, and I soak my foot
As I eat a plate of cold french fries
And my wife's out with her quote-unquote friend
And my son can't look me in the eyes
But that's the life I live
The Lonesome Kicker

Kicking for you
They took my snow shoe
They're going for two

Composição: Adam Sandler / Allen Covert / Jon Rosenberg · Esse não é o compositor? Nos avise.
231 exibições
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  1. Forgetful Lucy
  2. Grow Old With You
  3. Somebody Kill Me
  4. Stan The Man
  5. I Wanna Grow Old With You
  6. I Feel Pretty(Anger Managment)
  7. Bad Boyfriend
  8. Funny Happy Birthday Song
  9. Fatty McGee
  10. Girl
  11. The Thanksgiving Song
  12. What The Hell Happened To Me?
  13. Assistant Principal's Big Day
  14. Crazy Love
  15. Linda Song
  16. Secret
  17. Billy Madison's Victory Song
  18. Calling Home
  19. Hanukkah
  20. You Spin Me Right Round
  21. Assistant Principal's Big Day
  22. At A Medium Pace
  23. Buddy
  24. Cordurory Blues
  25. Dancin' And Pantsin
  26. Dip Doodle
  27. Do It For Your Mama
  28. Food Innuendo Guy
  29. Four Years Old
  30. I'm So Wasted
  31. Joining The Cult
  32. Listenin' To The Radio
  33. Lunchlady Land
  34. Medium Pace
  35. Memory Lane
  36. Mother's Day Song
  37. Moyda
  38. Mr. Bake-O
  39. Mr. Spindel's Phone Call
  40. My Little Chicken
  41. Ode To My Car
  42. Oh Mom...
  43. Pickin' Daisies
  44. Red Hooded Sweatshirt
  45. Right Field
  46. Santa Song
  47. Steve Polychronopolous
  48. Sweat Beatrice
  49. Teenage Love On The Phone
  1. The Adventures Of The Cow
  2. The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver
  3. The Beating Of A High School Janitor
  4. The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher
  5. The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher
  6. The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions
  7. The Buffoon And The Valedictorian
  8. The Chanuka Song
  9. The Chanukah Song (II)
  10. The Cheerleader
  11. The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal
  12. The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman
  13. The Goat Song
  14. The Hypnotist
  15. The Lonesome Kicker
  16. The Longest Pee
  17. The Respect Chant
  18. Toll Booth Willie
  19. Voodoo
  20. Zittly Van Zittles
  21. 7 Foot Man
  22. A Christmas Song
  23. Back 2 School
  24. Cock N Balls
  25. Dancing In The Dark
  26. Dee Wee (My Friend the Massive Idiot)
  27. I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog
  28. I Will Go Back To School
  29. Chanukah Song (III)
  30. Love Stinks
  31. Operaman
  32. She Comes Home To Me
  33. Sloppy Joe
  34. Sun Tan Lotion Song
  35. Thanksgiving Song
  36. The Amazing Willy Wanker
  37. The Chaunaka Song (Part 3)
  38. The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Girl
  39. The Grandma Song
  40. Welcome My Son
  41. They're All Gunna Laugh At You
  42. Best Friend
  43. Creapin´ On The Mayor
  44. Gay Robot
  45. Pibb Goes Surfing
  46. Pibb Tries The Skateboarding
  47. Sid & Alex
  48. The Boss And The Secretary
  49. The Mayor Of Pussytown
  1. The Mule Session
  2. The Hypnotist feat Kevin Nealon
  3. Stoned on Sesame Street
  4. Camp Granada
  5. Fleiznavidad
  6. I Like Small Butts
  7. Let It Out, Davey
  8. Uses Of The Word Fuck
  9. Instead of one day of presents
  10. Piece Of Shit Car
  11. Ways To Get Bin Laden
  12. At The Mall (feat. Kevin Grady)
  13. Bum Biddy
  14. Cool Guy 1
  15. Cool Guy 3
  16. Cool Guy 4
  17. Cool Guy 5
  18. Davey's Song
  19. Eggs And Candy (Snl)
  20. Hanukkah Song Part One
  21. Im Not
  22. Intervention Song
  23. Kermet and Big Bird Stoned
  24. Leabing Song Part II
  25. Long Ago
  26. Masturbata
  27. Patch Song
  28. Respect
  29. Sex Or Weight Lifting
  30. Technical Foul
  31. The Hannukah Oing
  32. The Peeper
  33. The Psychotic Legend of Uncle Donnie
  34. The Taliban Can
  35. Whore! Where Are You?!
  36. Buddy[moving Train]
  37. Baby Got Jack
  38. Real Love
  39. The Beer Song
  40. At The Mall
  41. Cool Guy 2
  42. Corduroy Blues
  43. I Feel Pretty
  44. The Chanukah Song
  45. The Chanukah Song, Pt. 3 [radio Version]
  46. The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview
  47. The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over
  48. The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson
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