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The Lonesome Kicker

Adam Sandler

Me, I'm the Lonesome Kicker
Extra points, field goals at your service
One might think it comes with glory
You might think different after you listen to my story

My helmet is equipped with a tiny face mask
What it possibly could protect, I do not know
The other guys on the team
Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads
And also like to hide the special shoe
I need to kick in the snow

People think it's so easy
To kick a field goal from the 30 yard line
They forget to add seven yards for the snap
And 10 more 'cause the goal posts are pushed way back

In 1974, the uprights were right on the goal line
But some of the players were running into them
And getting hurt
So screw the kicker
Who cares about the kicker?

But I kick that ball
And I pray it goes straight
If it does
The coach says "Good job, number 8"
He doesn't even know my name is
Andre Kristacovitchlalinski, Jr.
But that's the life I live
The Lonesome Kicker

Kickoffs can be so very scary
Especially, if the returner breaks on through
And I'm the only guy on the playing field left to tackle him
I don't want to get hurt
So I pretend to tie my shoe

Once again, I'm ignored by my teammates and all my coaches
"Go back where you came from!"
Scream 70,000 fans
Well, I know I could win their love back
By catching a winning touch-down
But, unfortunately, I was born with these very small hands

And I hope that the cameras don't come in too close
'Cause they might see the tears in my eyes
As I sit on this bench made of cold-hearted wood
And the splinters go deep in my thighs
And the towel boy snickers as he walks by
The Lonesome Kicker

Another blocked kick
And everybody blames me
But it was the Left Guard
Who didn't pick up his man
Oh, why can't they see...

In my home country
I could have been a minor league soccer player
But I came to America
Seeking fortune and seeking fame
I didn't realize that if I shanked one
And blew the point spread
Some drunk guys would push me into their hibachi
After the game

So I go home at night
'Cause I never get invited
To go drinking with the other guys
And I sit in my chair, and I soak my foot
As I eat a plate of cold french fries
And my wife's out with her quote-unquote friend
And my son can't look me in the eyes
But that's the life I live
The Lonesome Kicker

Kicking for you
They took my snow shoe
They're going for two

Composição: Adam Sandler / Allen Covert / Jon Rosenberg · Esse não é o compositor? Nos avise.
233 exibições
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Quem curte?
  1. Grow Old With You
  2. Forgetful Lucy
  3. Somebody Kill Me
  4. What Do You Love
  5. Mother's Day Song
  6. Bad Boyfriend
  7. The Adventures Of The Cow
  8. I Feel Pretty(Anger Managment)
  9. You Spin Me Right Round
  10. Assistant Principal's Big Day
  11. At A Medium Pace
  12. Buddy
  13. Cordurory Blues
  14. Dancin' And Pantsin
  15. Dip Doodle
  16. Do It For Your Mama
  17. Fatty McGee
  18. Food Innuendo Guy
  19. Four Years Old
  20. Girl
  21. I'm So Wasted
  22. Joining The Cult
  23. Listenin' To The Radio
  24. Lunchlady Land
  25. Medium Pace
  26. Memory Lane
  27. Moyda
  28. Mr. Bake-O
  29. Mr. Spindel's Phone Call
  30. My Little Chicken
  31. Ode To My Car
  32. Oh Mom...
  33. Pickin' Daisies
  34. Red Hooded Sweatshirt
  35. Right Field
  36. Santa Song
  37. Steve Polychronopolous
  38. Sweat Beatrice
  39. Teenage Love On The Phone
  40. The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver
  41. The Beating Of A High School Janitor
  42. The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher
  43. The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher
  44. The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions
  45. The Buffoon And The Valedictorian
  46. The Chanuka Song
  47. The Chanukah Song (II)
  48. The Cheerleader
  49. The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal
  1. The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman
  2. The Goat Song
  3. The Hypnotist
  4. The Lonesome Kicker
  5. The Longest Pee
  6. The Respect Chant
  7. The Thanksgiving Song
  8. Toll Booth Willie
  9. Voodoo
  10. What The Hell Happened To Me?
  11. Zittly Van Zittles
  12. 7 Foot Man
  13. A Christmas Song
  14. Back 2 School
  15. Cock N Balls
  16. Dancing In The Dark
  17. Dee Wee (My Friend the Massive Idiot)
  18. I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog
  19. I Will Go Back To School
  20. Assistant Principal's Big Day
  21. Chanukah Song (III)
  22. Crazy Love
  23. Love Stinks
  24. Linda Song
  25. Operaman
  26. Secret
  27. She Comes Home To Me
  28. Sloppy Joe
  29. Sun Tan Lotion Song
  30. Thanksgiving Song
  31. The Amazing Willy Wanker
  32. The Chaunaka Song (Part 3)
  33. The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Girl
  34. The Grandma Song
  35. Welcome My Son
  36. They're All Gunna Laugh At You
  37. Best Friend
  38. Creapin´ On The Mayor
  39. Gay Robot
  40. Pibb Goes Surfing
  41. Pibb Tries The Skateboarding
  42. Sid & Alex
  43. The Boss And The Secretary
  44. The Mayor Of Pussytown
  45. The Mule Session
  46. The Hypnotist feat Kevin Nealon
  47. Stoned on Sesame Street
  48. Camp Granada
  49. Fleiznavidad
  1. I Like Small Butts
  2. Let It Out, Davey
  3. Uses Of The Word Fuck
  4. Instead of one day of presents
  5. Piece Of Shit Car
  6. Ways To Get Bin Laden
  7. At The Mall (feat. Kevin Grady)
  8. Billy Madison's Victory Song
  9. Bum Biddy
  10. Calling Home
  11. Cool Guy 1
  12. Cool Guy 3
  13. Cool Guy 4
  14. Cool Guy 5
  15. Davey's Song
  16. Eggs And Candy (Snl)
  17. Funny Happy Birthday Song
  18. Hanukkah
  19. Hanukkah Song Part One
  20. Im Not
  21. Intervention Song
  22. Kermet and Big Bird Stoned
  23. Leabing Song Part II
  24. Long Ago
  25. Masturbata
  26. Patch Song
  27. Respect
  28. Sex Or Weight Lifting
  29. Stan The Man
  30. Technical Foul
  31. The Hannukah Oing
  32. The Peeper
  33. The Psychotic Legend of Uncle Donnie
  34. The Taliban Can
  35. Whore! Where Are You?!
  36. Buddy[moving Train]
  37. Baby Got Jack
  38. Real Love
  39. The Beer Song
  40. At The Mall
  41. Cool Guy 2
  42. Corduroy Blues
  43. I Feel Pretty
  44. I Wanna Grow Old With You
  45. The Chanukah Song
  46. The Chanukah Song, Pt. 3 [radio Version]
  47. The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview
  48. The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over
  49. The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson
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