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The Lonesome Kicker

Adam Sandler

Me, I'm the Lonesome Kicker
Extra points, field goals at your service
One might think it comes with glory
You might think different after you listen to my story

My helmet is equipped with a tiny face mask
What it possibly could protect, I do not know
The other guys on the team
Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads
And also like to hide the special shoe
I need to kick in the snow

People think it's so easy
To kick a field goal from the 30 yard line
They forget to add seven yards for the snap
And 10 more 'cause the goal posts are pushed way back

In 1974, the uprights were right on the goal line
But some of the players were running into them
And getting hurt
So screw the kicker
Who cares about the kicker?

But I kick that ball
And I pray it goes straight
If it does
The coach says "Good job, number 8"
He doesn't even know my name is
Andre Kristacovitchlalinski, Jr.
But that's the life I live
The Lonesome Kicker

Kickoffs can be so very scary
Especially, if the returner breaks on through
And I'm the only guy on the playing field left to tackle him
I don't want to get hurt
So I pretend to tie my shoe

Once again, I'm ignored by my teammates and all my coaches
"Go back where you came from!"
Scream 70,000 fans
Well, I know I could win their love back
By catching a winning touch-down
But, unfortunately, I was born with these very small hands

And I hope that the cameras don't come in too close
'Cause they might see the tears in my eyes
As I sit on this bench made of cold-hearted wood
And the splinters go deep in my thighs
And the towel boy snickers as he walks by
The Lonesome Kicker

Another blocked kick
And everybody blames me
But it was the Left Guard
Who didn't pick up his man
Oh, why can't they see...

In my home country
I could have been a minor league soccer player
But I came to America
Seeking fortune and seeking fame
I didn't realize that if I shanked one
And blew the point spread
Some drunk guys would push me into their hibachi
After the game

So I go home at night
'Cause I never get invited
To go drinking with the other guys
And I sit in my chair, and I soak my foot
As I eat a plate of cold french fries
And my wife's out with her quote-unquote friend
And my son can't look me in the eyes
But that's the life I live
The Lonesome Kicker

Kicking for you
They took my snow shoe
They're going for two

Composição: Adam Sandler / Allen Covert / Jon Rosenberg · Esse não é o compositor? Nos avise.
231 exibições
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  1. Forgetful Lucy
  2. Somebody Kill Me
  3. Grow Old With You
  4. Stan The Man
  5. You Spin Me Right Round
  6. I Feel Pretty(Anger Managment)
  7. Calling Home
  8. Funny Happy Birthday Song
  9. I Wanna Grow Old With You
  10. Red Hooded Sweatshirt
  11. The Chanukah Song (II)
  12. The Thanksgiving Song
  13. Love Stinks
  14. The Boss And The Secretary
  15. Assistant Principal's Big Day
  16. At A Medium Pace
  17. Bad Boyfriend
  18. Buddy
  19. Cordurory Blues
  20. Dancin' And Pantsin
  21. Dip Doodle
  22. Do It For Your Mama
  23. Fatty McGee
  24. Food Innuendo Guy
  25. Four Years Old
  26. Girl
  27. I'm So Wasted
  28. Joining The Cult
  29. Listenin' To The Radio
  30. Lunchlady Land
  31. Medium Pace
  32. Memory Lane
  33. Mother's Day Song
  34. Moyda
  35. Mr. Bake-O
  36. Mr. Spindel's Phone Call
  37. My Little Chicken
  38. Ode To My Car
  39. Oh Mom...
  40. Pickin' Daisies
  41. Sweat Beatrice
  42. Teenage Love On The Phone
  43. The Adventures Of The Cow
  44. The Beating Of A High School Janitor
  45. The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher
  46. The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher
  47. The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions
  48. The Buffoon And The Valedictorian
  49. The Chanuka Song
  1. The Cheerleader
  2. The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal
  3. The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman
  4. The Goat Song
  5. The Hypnotist
  6. The Lonesome Kicker
  7. The Longest Pee
  8. The Respect Chant
  9. Toll Booth Willie
  10. Voodoo
  11. What The Hell Happened To Me?
  12. Zittly Van Zittles
  13. 7 Foot Man
  14. A Christmas Song
  15. Back 2 School
  16. Cock N Balls
  17. Dancing In The Dark
  18. Dee Wee (My Friend the Massive Idiot)
  19. I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog
  20. I Will Go Back To School
  21. Assistant Principal's Big Day
  22. Crazy Love
  23. Operaman
  24. Secret
  25. She Comes Home To Me
  26. Sloppy Joe
  27. The Amazing Willy Wanker
  28. The Chaunaka Song (Part 3)
  29. The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Girl
  30. The Grandma Song
  31. Welcome My Son
  32. They're All Gunna Laugh At You
  33. Best Friend
  34. Creapin´ On The Mayor
  35. Gay Robot
  36. Pibb Tries The Skateboarding
  37. Sid & Alex
  38. The Mayor Of Pussytown
  39. The Mule Session
  40. The Hypnotist feat Kevin Nealon
  41. Stoned on Sesame Street
  42. Camp Granada
  43. Fleiznavidad
  44. I Like Small Butts
  45. Let It Out, Davey
  46. Uses Of The Word Fuck
  47. Instead of one day of presents
  48. Piece Of Shit Car
  49. At The Mall (feat. Kevin Grady)
  1. Billy Madison's Victory Song
  2. Bum Biddy
  3. Cool Guy 1
  4. Cool Guy 5
  5. Davey's Song
  6. Eggs And Candy (Snl)
  7. Hanukkah
  8. Hanukkah Song Part One
  9. Im Not
  10. Kermet and Big Bird Stoned
  11. Leabing Song Part II
  12. Long Ago
  13. Masturbata
  14. Patch Song
  15. Respect
  16. Sex Or Weight Lifting
  17. Technical Foul
  18. The Hannukah Oing
  19. The Peeper
  20. The Psychotic Legend of Uncle Donnie
  21. The Taliban Can
  22. Whore! Where Are You?!
  23. Buddy[moving Train]
  24. Baby Got Jack
  25. The Beer Song
  26. Cool Guy 2
  27. Corduroy Blues
  28. I Feel Pretty
  29. The Chanukah Song
  30. The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview
  31. Right Field
  32. Santa Song
  33. Steve Polychronopolous
  34. The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver
  35. Chanukah Song (III)
  36. Linda Song
  37. Sun Tan Lotion Song
  38. Thanksgiving Song
  39. Pibb Goes Surfing
  40. Ways To Get Bin Laden
  41. Cool Guy 3
  42. Cool Guy 4
  43. Intervention Song
  44. Real Love
  45. At The Mall
  46. The Chanukah Song, Pt. 3 [radio Version]
  47. The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over
  48. The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson
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