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The Lonesome Kicker

Adam Sandler

Me, I'm the Lonesome Kicker
Extra points, field goals at your service
One might think it comes with glory
You might think different after you listen to my story

My helmet is equipped with a tiny face mask
What it possibly could protect, I do not know
The other guys on the team
Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads
And also like to hide the special shoe
I need to kick in the snow

People think it's so easy
To kick a field goal from the 30 yard line
They forget to add seven yards for the snap
And 10 more 'cause the goal posts are pushed way back

In 1974, the uprights were right on the goal line
But some of the players were running into them
And getting hurt
So screw the kicker
Who cares about the kicker?

But I kick that ball
And I pray it goes straight
If it does
The coach says "Good job, number 8"
He doesn't even know my name is
Andre Kristacovitchlalinski, Jr.
But that's the life I live
The Lonesome Kicker

Kickoffs can be so very scary
Especially, if the returner breaks on through
And I'm the only guy on the playing field left to tackle him
I don't want to get hurt
So I pretend to tie my shoe

Once again, I'm ignored by my teammates and all my coaches
"Go back where you came from!"
Scream 70,000 fans
Well, I know I could win their love back
By catching a winning touch-down
But, unfortunately, I was born with these very small hands

And I hope that the cameras don't come in too close
'Cause they might see the tears in my eyes
As I sit on this bench made of cold-hearted wood
And the splinters go deep in my thighs
And the towel boy snickers as he walks by
The Lonesome Kicker

Another blocked kick
And everybody blames me
But it was the Left Guard
Who didn't pick up his man
Oh, why can't they see...

In my home country
I could have been a minor league soccer player
But I came to America
Seeking fortune and seeking fame
I didn't realize that if I shanked one
And blew the point spread
Some drunk guys would push me into their hibachi
After the game

So I go home at night
'Cause I never get invited
To go drinking with the other guys
And I sit in my chair, and I soak my foot
As I eat a plate of cold french fries
And my wife's out with her quote-unquote friend
And my son can't look me in the eyes
But that's the life I live
The Lonesome Kicker

Kicking for you
They took my snow shoe
They're going for two

Composição: Adam Sandler / Allen Covert / Jon Rosenberg · Esse não é o compositor? Nos avise.
232 exibições
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  3. Mother's Day Song
  4. Somebody Kill Me
  5. What Do You Love
  6. At A Medium Pace
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  8. The Goat Song
  9. A Christmas Song
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  13. I Feel Pretty(Anger Managment)
  14. Real Love
  15. You Spin Me Right Round
  16. Assistant Principal's Big Day
  17. Bad Boyfriend
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  24. Food Innuendo Guy
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  27. Joining The Cult
  28. Listenin' To The Radio
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  30. Medium Pace
  31. Memory Lane
  32. Moyda
  33. Mr. Bake-O
  34. Mr. Spindel's Phone Call
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  36. Ode To My Car
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  40. Right Field
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  43. Sweat Beatrice
  44. Teenage Love On The Phone
  45. The Adventures Of The Cow
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  47. The Beating Of A High School Janitor
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  2. The Buffoon And The Valedictorian
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  4. The Chanukah Song (II)
  5. The Cheerleader
  6. The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal
  7. The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman
  8. The Hypnotist
  9. The Lonesome Kicker
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  11. The Respect Chant
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  15. What The Hell Happened To Me?
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  25. Chanukah Song (III)
  26. Crazy Love
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  28. Linda Song
  29. Operaman
  30. She Comes Home To Me
  31. Sloppy Joe
  32. Sun Tan Lotion Song
  33. The Amazing Willy Wanker
  34. The Chaunaka Song (Part 3)
  35. The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Girl
  36. The Grandma Song
  37. Welcome My Son
  38. They're All Gunna Laugh At You
  39. Best Friend
  40. Creapin´ On The Mayor
  41. Gay Robot
  42. Pibb Goes Surfing
  43. Pibb Tries The Skateboarding
  44. Sid & Alex
  45. The Boss And The Secretary
  46. The Mayor Of Pussytown
  47. The Mule Session
  48. The Hypnotist feat Kevin Nealon
  49. Stoned on Sesame Street
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  2. I Like Small Butts
  3. Let It Out, Davey
  4. Uses Of The Word Fuck
  5. Instead of one day of presents
  6. Piece Of Shit Car
  7. Ways To Get Bin Laden
  8. At The Mall (feat. Kevin Grady)
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  13. Cool Guy 3
  14. Cool Guy 4
  15. Cool Guy 5
  16. Davey's Song
  17. Eggs And Candy (Snl)
  18. Funny Happy Birthday Song
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  20. Hanukkah Song Part One
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  24. Leabing Song Part II
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  26. Masturbata
  27. Patch Song
  28. Respect
  29. Sex Or Weight Lifting
  30. Stan The Man
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  32. The Hannukah Oing
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  35. The Taliban Can
  36. Whore! Where Are You?!
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  42. Corduroy Blues
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  44. I Wanna Grow Old With You
  45. The Chanukah Song
  46. The Chanukah Song, Pt. 3 [radio Version]
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  48. The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over
  49. The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson
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