By The Time You Read This

I'm leaving right now, not for another moment.
Can I stand to bear the weight of your eyes upon me.
There's a weight that pressing on my shoulders.
Each step away takes so much effort.
But when you turn around next I still won't be there.
I've managed to kid myself about who I am.
For such a long time.
And about how you may have felt.
It's still hard to put into words.
Just how much you mean to me.

Those wonderful nights just seem so far away now.
I can look into the sky.
And almost see them, out there between the stars.
Of course I know you don't even see that much at all.
So when you look back I'll be gone,
and you won't have missed a thing.

Maybe this is better.
Because I'd rather you not see this.
How I'd scream at these walls.
Until I can't speak your name again.

I've managed to kid myself about who I am.
For such a long time.
And about how you may have felt.
It's still hard to put into words.
Just how much you mean to me.

I'll be gone when you turn around.
You'll only see the same empty space.
The space that we both shared.
This those memories that you've forgotten.
And I'll be running; I'll keep on running.
Because I'm leaving for good.
I won't be looking back, no I won't.

Running forward into the night.
I'll let it swallow me whole.
Maybe you'll hear me in the wind.
But then it will be too late.
To say goodbye.