Let It Go

My momma gave me up when I was four years old
She didn't destroy my body, but she killed my soul
Now it's cold 'cause I'm sleeping in my back seat
I understand the spirit's willing but my flesh is weak
Let him speak, let me speak
I never had a chance to dream
Ten years old and finding love in dirty magazines
Ms. December you remember I bought you twice
Now I'm thirty plus and still paying the price

Had a sister that I barely knew
Kind of got separated by the age of two
Same momma different daddy so we couldn't fake it
I saw my sister's daddy beat her in the tub naked
Take it serious the demons in a man's mind
The same man on rape charges now he's doing time
Crack followed and like daddy prison thirteen years
Haven't seen her, I guess she's traded tears for fears

Shout, shout, let it all out
These are the things I can do without so come on
Come on I'm talking to you, so come on

Sex was how I made it through
Without someone to teach you love what else is there to do
See where I'm from they call you gay
Say you ain't a man, show them you ain't no punk
Get all the girls you can, a simple plan that still haunts me even now today
Back to seventeen and got a baby on the way
No GED, all I see is failure in my eyes, if you're listening and remember I apologize

I was raised falling in the church
Made mistakes and heard the lord's calling in the church
After service in the parking lot getting high
Wanted to be accepted so bad I was willing to die
Even tried to tell the pastor, but he couldn't see years of low self-esteem and insecurities
Church taught me how to shout and how to speak in tongues
But preacher, teach me how to live now when the tongue is done, help me

Shout, shout, let it all out
These are the things I can do without so come on
Come on I'm talking to you, so come on

See I, see I, I just wanna let it go, just wanna let it go, just let it go

Jesus, please, on my knees, can't you hear me crying?
You said to put it in your hands and lord I'm really trying
You wasn't lying when you said you reap what you sow
Like that night momma died, it's hard to let it go
You adopted me, cared for me, changed my name
But I cursed at you, lied to you and left you pain
It's not strange I can still see it in my head
To know for hours you were lying there in that bed
If you're listening to this record
If it's day or night
If your momma is still living treat your momma right
Don't be like me and let that moment slip away
And be careful 'cause you can't take back what you say
To my real momma if you're listening I'm letting it go
To my father, I forgive you, 'cause you didn't know that the pain was the preparation for my destiny
And one more thing lord let my son be a better man than me

Shout, shout, let it all out
These are the things I can do without so come on
Come on I'm talking to you, so come on