Just Around The Corner

Norticia:
My daughter's getting married
I can't believe it's true
She doesn't ask her parents
Before she says "I do"

And what about my husband?
Oblivious, naive
This evening's getting serious
These ohioans won't leave

But I can't let these latest problems
Rob me of my bliss
For when I'm scared of true disaster
I remember this:

Death is just around the corner
Waiting patiently to strike
One unplanned electrocution
That's the kind of end
I can comprehend

When I'm feeling uninspired
Or I need a little spree
I'm reborn knowing
Death is just around the corner
Coming after me

Get it, Coroner, death is just around the corner

Death is just around the corner
Waiting high upon the hill
Someone buried in an avalanche (gasp)
That's the kind of gig
I can really dig

Marriage often disappoints you
Not each husband is a gem
So I'll mourn
Knowing death is just around the corner
Coming after them

If life's all plums
I'll muddle through some
But when death comes
I hope it's gruesome

Some people die from public stoning
Faulty wiring, faulty zoning
Cherry pits they didn't know were there
It could be by a jungle cat

Female ancestor:
A slippery mat

Male ancestor:
A baseball bat

Norticia:
Perhaps an unsuccessful love affair

It could be on a speeding train
It could be underwater
It could be too much novocain
Or even by your daughter

Female ancestor:
Perhaps a bad mosquito bite

Male ancestor:
A title fight

Female ancestors:
Religious rite

Morticia:
My darlings, it might even be tonight

Death is just around the corner
No one's ever been immune
Turning off a respirator
With a simple click
Strenuously quick

I can face a new tomorrow
If I make it past today
I feel good saying
Death is just around the corner
Simply on its way

Death is just around the corner
And you have to heed the call
(Don't ask why)
For your death is just around the corner
(You and I)
Happy being both the mourned and mourner
(Say goodbye)
Because death is just around the corner
Coming for us all