This Beard Stays

My dad had a beard
Coz my dad wasn't shit
When he died I decided I
Would grow one just like it
I grew it large and I grew it long
I grew it thick and I grew it strong

Then I had to find a job
But at the job interview
They told me I'd have to shave
The beard that I had just grew
They said 'we have a no-beard policy'
I said 'you can't do this to me!' I said

I won't shave
I won't do what you say
I won't shave
I'm not gonna shave my beard away
I won’t listen to what you say
I don't need your job, don't need your pay
This beard is mine and this beard stays

So I went to centrelink
Thought I'd get me some welfare
But the lady at the counter
Didn't like my facial hair
She said: 'you'll have to shave first, sir'
So I stood up and yelled this at her: I yelled

I won't shave
I won't do what you say
I won't shave
I'm not gonna shave my beard away
I won’t listen to what you say
I don't need your welfare, don't need your pay
This beard is mine and this beard stays

So I wandered far from home
Travelling across the land
And I spread my bearded message
Singing in my novelty band
So if you're bearded and you’re proud
Sing with us, and sing it loud. We'll all sing

We won't shave
We won't do what you say
We won't shave
We're not gonna shave our beards away
We've got beards and that's ok
You’re not my real father anyway
These beards are ours and these beards stay